After several months of helping out with Moderation duties at Plamo forum, I've compiled a list of tips for busy people to aid them in fully using forums and endearing themselves to all the members.

First, some preliminary concepts and ideas to keep in mind :

1. Forums are populated by people with too much time on their hands.
2. Extrapolating #1, you get - Administrators and Moderators of forums are even worse than the common forum-folk.
   They have so much free time, they spend inordinate amounts of that in censorship, deletion and general stoking of fires to keep the flame-wars going.
   They'd even spend real money on hosting and domain name services. Oh the humanity!
3. Repeat this next one while looking into a mirror :
   I am a very busy,  responsible, working adult, with real problems and real issues.
   I do not have time to post in forums frequently, and because I have a real job, with real meetings to attend.
   I am not like the people described in #1 and #2.
   I am better.

With that out of the way, let's see them tips.

1. Never, ever read the forum Rules.
   They do not apply to responsible adults with real jobs.
   Real adults do not have time for made-up rules, especially ones made up by #2 people.
2. Do not bother introducing yourself, even if an Introduction Section exists solely for that purpose.
   Noooo, we must stay mysterious to maintain the air of superiority.
   Don't forget who we're dealing with here. The less they know about you, the less chance they'll stalk you in their free time.
3. Forget about all that Internet Security nonsense.
   Online security and safety does not apply to forums. It's not real like Internet Banking.
   What's the worse that can happen?
4. Never search, just post a new thread.
   Only losers search. Make them forum jokers work a bit. They'll be grateful to see some action.
   They live in forums, so they deserve to answer the same questions over and over again.
5. Etiquette smellicat.
   Remember, forums are not real life. No need to be polite or nice.
   As long as you follow tip #2, and don't introduce yourself, hiding behind the anonymity of the nick will grant you the freedom of speaking your mind, all the time! Be free!
6. Post length limits are for weaklings.
   Some idiots set a character limit to posts, presumably to eliminate fluff posts like "Yay!" Get around this minor irritation by fluffing your fluffy post with a "10char".
   That'll teach 'em good.
7. Post count limits.
   A close cousin of #6 above, some forums limit access to the Trading Area to members with a certain number of posts.
   This is completely lame, like, can't these idiots understand that we are Really Busy Responsible Working Adults?
   We don't have time to post in forums, not with all those tele-conferences, lunch meets, golfing meetings....
   So, post away in the Buy/Sell section. If your post disappears, re-post.
   If they don't learn, send the Moderators a stern Personal Message, telling them how busy you are.
   Emphasise the Busy Responsible Working Adult part.
   Use ALL CAPS if necessary.
   That'll really endear you to them.
8. Only your opinion matters.
   Once again, since we are the Adults here, with real Jobs, only we can form correct opinions on ALL matters.
   Our word is final, and if anyone persists, fight till the end!
   No one can be more correct than Busy Responsible Working Adults.
   This is the only situation where the part about being too busy can be temporarily ignored.
   Nothing is more important than educating these low-lifes.
   Remember, you are doing them a favour.
9. Read between the lines.
   Look for any attempt of personal attack, no matter how subtle.
   These forum-folk have highly evolved sentence-phrasing abilities, and can hide subliminal messages in their forum posts.
   At the slightest hint, take the "Best defense is a good Offense" tactic.
   

Now that I've armed you with these tips, go forth, and post with confidence, or not, since you're too busy for this forum nonsense.

Yes Virginia,  it's satire......